Kings lose to Grizzlies by 33 points and I’m glad

Instead of spending the 4 or so hours writing a massive hit piece (which is what I just spent 4 hours doing) on why I hate Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins so thoroughly and completely. I need a weeks break from those 2 shitheads. Both have destroyed my love for the Kings for the time being, and hopefully a week of school/watching real NBA teams compete and perform will recharge my batteries and accept those two. (Yes, I just used the “recharging my batteries” in describing my feelings towards watching my favorite team since I was a teenager. I feel I need to be locked away in a room with a straitjacket for about 10 years after watching those 2 go out and “play” NBA basketball.) I’m assuming I’ll just go back to hating them both for eternity. Actually what I’m kind of hoping for is they both spontaneously combust and I’ll never have to look at them again. The odds of this happening? Slim and none. Such is life.

Which then means there will be a lot posts that would explore the scintillating whirling dirvish option of: Would it be better of if we shot 6 grenades at Tyreke every time he starts a possession after 16 seconds on the shot clock? Or would it be better if we shot him with 2 grenades to teach him an object lesson? Maybe Tyreke can pound the ball with only 1 functional leg. Now I’m fascinated. Maybe even morbidly excited?

Would it be wise to shoot 6 rockets at DeMarcus Cousins every time he catches a ball at the elbow (which he should either shoot, or pass without taking a single dribble) and then proceeds to take 6 dribbles into the lane and try and score over 4 defenders so he can make himself look good. Or would only 1 rocket work for said object lesson? If DeMarcus loses his arm from said rocket, does that mean he’s more likely to shoot one arm shots from the elbow or 4 defenders? NOW I’M FASCINATED. JUST RIVETED.

As you can see, these are the critical and important things that I feel Kings basketball is about these days. Because it’s not like there is a professional basketball being played these days from the two players who matter more than everyone else in the entire franchise combined. See ya next Saturday.